guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
