I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
3pm strippers are depressing
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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