Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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