a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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