bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
