I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
