dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So vagazzling was a success
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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