I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
