Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
