What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
