even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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