are you so shy because you have an std?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
