I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
