I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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