i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
