i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
