Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

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  (702): You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year http://tfl.nu/juhc
  Replies (45) Good night (4902) Bad night (730)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.

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  (620): I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8ema
  Replies (9) Good night (5371) Bad night (927)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

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  (412): he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night. http://tfl.nu/6lcj
  Replies (39) Good night (1414) Bad night (7736)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones

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  (904): My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones http://tfl.nu/lwep
  Replies (8) Good night (2913) Bad night (1494)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (785): sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/vv7s
  Replies (8) Good night (2620) Bad night (1027)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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  (352): One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday. http://tfl.nu/0mor
  Replies (8) Good night (2665) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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  (303): high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me. http://tfl.nu/bsmu
  Replies (8) Good night (2610) Bad night (1024)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool

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  (724): at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool http://tfl.nu/z0fe
  Replies (3) Good night (1285) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.

  (1-805): View more from California

  That's kinky shit dude.

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  (805): It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening. (1-805): That's kinky shit dude. http://tfl.nu/fc85
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (1170)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker

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  (307): I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker http://tfl.nu/4xt0
  Replies (6) Good night (1162) Bad night (456)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.

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  (563): He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name. http://tfl.nu/wgo9
  Replies (7) Good night (627) Bad night (1773)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.

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  (303): Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second. http://tfl.nu/m7me
  Replies (1) Good night (334) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel

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  (562): That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel http://tfl.nu/pj6n
  Replies (0) Good night (619) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i need to put some appletini on your dick

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  (616): i need to put some appletini on your dick http://tfl.nu/eyq7
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.

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  (989): I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE. http://tfl.nu/7z2p
  Replies (4) Good night (606) Bad night (239)

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