i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.