a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
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The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months