I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Randomize
