Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Win!

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  (334): I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender. (205): Win! http://tfl.nu/0n6n
  Replies (12) Good night (5388) Bad night (894)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?

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  (631): I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory? http://tfl.nu/wpyo
  Replies (12) Good night (5797) Bad night (708)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

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  (918): the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing. http://tfl.nu/e8cz
  Replies (61) Good night (5907) Bad night (1263)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.

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  (303): I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/2lff
  Replies (62) Good night (6512) Bad night (816)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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  (604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx
  Replies (112) Good night (52480) Bad night (2152)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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  (817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv
  Replies (9) Good night (3561) Bad night (1146)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for

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  (602): I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for http://tfl.nu/u905
  Replies (31) Good night (5331) Bad night (1192)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.

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  (416): Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing. http://tfl.nu/2fe4
  Replies (18) Good night (2454) Bad night (2905)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.

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  (770): I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex. http://tfl.nu/726q
  Replies (11) Good night (4971) Bad night (993)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.

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  (813): Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials. http://tfl.nu/g3k6
  Replies (22) Good night (1356) Bad night (1955)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.

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  (+44): i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit. http://tfl.nu/4l0m
  Replies (5) Good night (2106) Bad night (1018)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those were the highlights of my night.

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  (717): Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves. (717): Those were the highlights of my night. http://tfl.nu/jaow
  Replies (8) Good night (2105) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?

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  (+61): Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok? http://tfl.nu/xxuu
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (305)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won

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  (856): Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won http://tfl.nu/yv5v
  Replies (2) Good night (975) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.

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  (801): Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight. http://tfl.nu/r4nr
  Replies (5) Good night (351) Bad night (737)

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