i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Dating After Heartbreak
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.