You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
