Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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