mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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