So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
