well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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