i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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