I need help removing her.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
