Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
