I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
