so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
