Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
