Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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