omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
