So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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