Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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