We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
A+ Viking dick
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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