I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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