Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize