Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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