the condom got lost in my hair
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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