there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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