Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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