no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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