So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
