I'm going to jail i love you
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
