Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
