I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
