so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
