Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
