So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
