Me too!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
