if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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