So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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