forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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