just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize