hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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