haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
