I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
